New Trend Alert: Billionaires are Cosplaying as Astronauts
Written By: Dani Bazzocchi
Jul 21- 3 min read

Is your Amazon Package delayed? Well here’s why.

Oh, to be a billionaire in space.

If you thought 2021 could not get any weirder, let me just tell you it has. Billionaires have started this trend where they take rollercoaster rides to space. Within a week of each other, Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson have been launched into space only to come back roughly 10 minutes later.

Imagine having so much money, that taking a trip to space is just another casual Tuesday.

You’re probably asking, what is the point of this? And my answer is, I have no fucking clue. I tried to find how this helps space exploration at all and it truly doesn’t. All it does is feed into these men’s egos that they can just casually go into space. Like I truly wonder what goes through a billionaire’s head “if I don’t go to space, I’ll be the loser of the friend group”.  But honestly, if I got paid $152,207 a minute just to think, I to would probably come up with some ridiculous ideas.

One of the main goals that I did find though is to make space travel “more accessible to all”. Branson’s trip cost $250,000 while Bezos sold a seat on his flight for $28 million. I mean ya true, seems pretty accessible to me. WRONG. I don’t know how this is accessible to “all”. We need to give these men a reality check.

Richard Branson, the owner of virgin also went into space but for some reason, it doesn’t bother me as much as Jeff Bezos rocketing into space does. I think it maybe has to do with the fact that he thanked the Amazon employees and Amazon customers for funding his trip.

This statement really grinds my gears. I hate that he said this but what I hate more is that Amazon is so dang convenient and easy that I will probably keep ordering from them. But just know, I will not be happy about it, ever.

These billionaires can joy ride to space, but I still can’t get a package that I ordered a month ago. Make it make sense. People on social media are heated as the money he spent to fund this experience could have been better spent contributing to social issues currently happening around the world.

But the billionaire world isn’t all lost. Mackenzie Scott, Jeff Bezos’s ex-wife donated $8 billion of her fortune. And is planning on giving away $2.7 billion to 268 other charity organizations. This just proves the theory that girls do go to college to more knowledge while boys go to Jupiter to get stupider.

billionaires, mackenzie scott, amazon

Until one of these billionaires goes to space, solves life or death issues while stuck in orbit, finds aliens, and finds a planet with oxygen, I won’t be impressed. If you do want to be impressed with space travel, go watch Hidden Figures, a movie about true geniuses.

It seems to be like just another day of rich people trying to be relatable by doing “normal” things. Check out the Jonas Brothers trying to be Olympic athletes.

Ownersbox may have to take a trip to space for content purposes. Follow me on Twitter @_danibets to stay updated.

Written by: Dani Bazzocchi
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